Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Tiny Changes #20: support yourself

This may seem contradictory, considering how many times we've told you to reach out if you need help. I'm not saying that you shouldn't avail yourself of the doctor if you're sick, the counseling center if you need help with managing stress, or your teacher if you're having trouble in class. Do those things when you need: they are there for a reason.

I'm referring to the constant cheerleading some of us seem to need to simply do our work.

How many of you go from practice room to practice room, asking someone to listen to your work (and listening to theirs, thereby postponing work for BOTH of you), so that you can feel good enough to continue? How many of you seek counsel from each other, often repeatedly, regarding something to which you already know the answer? Often, this is an avoidance technique, when what you really need to do is just get to work.

Steven Pressfield, in my favorite book (The War of Art) puts it this way:

Seeking support from friends and family is like having people gathered around your deathbed. It's nice, but when the ship sails, all they can do is stand on the dock and wave goodbye.

Any support we get from persons of flesh and blood is like Monopoly money; it's not legal tender in that sphere where we have to do our work. In fact, the more energy we spend stoking up on support from colleagues and loved ones, the weaker we become and the less capable of handling our business.

Get to work. Don't talk about it, plan it, or fantasize with others. Leave the neuroticism at the door, and get practicing.

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