20 Tiny Changes #10: Monitor Self-Talk

How do you talk to yourself?

No, I'm not referring to the kind of self-talk that makes people you pass on the street wonder if you're nuts. Most of us don't talk out loud to ourselves (though, occasionally, there's nothing wrong with that). I'm referring to the constant monologue inside your head.

When you mess up, what do you say to yourself? When you're about to try something new, what do you say to yourself? When you look in the mirror, what do you say to yourself?

My guess is, many of us say things to ourselves that we would never utter to someone else.

This is incredibly damaging. We demoralize ourselves when we do this. (I have to note: my finger just hit two keys at once, and the word came out "demortalize." I actually think that's true, too: we take away a piece of our humanity when we speak cruelly to ourselves. We are all imperfect: it's part of being human.)

For a few days, just note what you say to yourself when you're feeling vulnerable, scared, or anxious. Would you talk to your best friend that way? Then why in the world would you talk to yourself like that? Our self-esteem is a fragile thing. We must be our own best friends. What would you say to your best friend when she's feeling scared about trying something new? It would probably be something along the following lines: "C'mon, you can do it. It won't be perfect the first time, and that's okay. Just give it a try!" What would happen if, over time, you had that kind of response to yourself? You'd probably feel less demoralized, and less demortalized. (I made a new word. Pretty neat. It'll probably come up in future posts.)

It can be a hard to habit to break, to be fair. I've been working on it for about 25 years, and am starting to make some progress. It's one I commit to revisiting, too.

20 Tiny Changes #9: go small

I love chocolate. And ice cream. And other things that I probably shouldn't like as much as I do.

Until fairly recently, limiting the size of those treats wasn't an option. If I was going to have ice cream, I'd have three scoops. Or two scoops with hot fudge AND caramel. What was the point of having a small serving? If you're going to be bad, go all out: that was my motto.

What I've discovered is that a few bites of whatever I'm craving is plenty to satiate me. I keep a bag of mini York peppermint patties in the fridge, and have one after dinner. Or I have a half cup of Breyer's ice cream. BTW, that's one serving, I was horrified to discover! After a few bites of those lovelies, I'm satisfied. It's a treat, and I don't feel gross afterward. Who knew?

Give it a try. Cheating a little bit each day won't kill anyone, and won't pack on the pounds the way regular (or even intermittent) gorging will. That way, you won't feel deprived, either.

20 Tiny Changes #8: do not disturb

It's a lovely function on your mobile phone: "do not disturb." Do you actually use it?

I use it every time I go into a session here at the NATS conference. To be honest, I'd be mortified if my phone rang during Renée Fleming's master classes.

But do you use it every night when you go to bed? A colleague relayed a story to me: it seems her grandson asked her not to text early in the morning because it woke him up. Her response was, why is your phone on when you're sleeping?

I have to side with my colleague on this one. Phones need to be turned off when you sleep, so that you can sleep without interruption. Just about anything can wait a few hours. We know from numerous studies that having 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep is crucial. It's also important to have the self-control to be able to do without it for that amount of time, in my opinion.

So turn it off and sleep well, friends!

Wellness Resources: NATS National Convention 2016

This list, while long, will continue to grow. Feel free to comment and post your favorites, and I'll include them.

Here is the link.

And here is a fabulous testimonial from a friend regarding one of the apps I mentioned:

I don't usually post much on Facebook except to comment on other's posts. However, this week I tried something new for me. I started tracking my calorie and exercise on MYFITNESSPAL this week as I travelled Tallahassee FL, Mobile AL, Biloxi, and Gulfport MS. I love seafood and am a sucker for fast food in order to move on quickly and get to my next appointments. Many of the hotels I stay in have breakfast provided. I often try to get my money's worth and then some! I found that I consumed 1600 of my 2100 allowable calories for breakfast one morning. What a shock!! Didn't seem like that much but the biscuits and gravy eggs sausage yogurt orange juice coffee do add up! So with that awakening I have tried all week to eat more reasonalbly and account for all food that I eat good or bad. I also was able to exercise every day during the week sometimes morning and everning. I ate at one of my favorite restaraunts on the Gulf coast, Half Shell Oyster House(halfshelloysterhouse.com with 8 locations), 3 times. Great food and atmosphere with a Cajun flair! But i limited myselt to a bowl of their fabulous seafood gumbo and a salad each time. I somehow found the will power to forego their fantastic bread pudding!! When I arrived home for the weekend, I weighed in. I was surprised to see I had lost 2.5 pounds this week and still had an enjoyable time. I guess the old saying "You can't manage what you don't measure" is very true. I am 6 days into a new pattern and hope to continure without stumbling too often going forward in order to lose a substantial amount of weight this fall I hope each time I see you in the future, you see "less" of me.